Heat, Mavs Set to Play for Larry O'Brien Trophy

The NBA Finals will feature the Miami Heat and the Dallas Mavericks.

A good matchup, but definitely not as tantalizing as Heat-Lakers. But that isn't happening, so I guess I will have to continue to mourn and lament. Anyways, it will be the Big 3 against Dirk and "The Jet".

These great players that have led their respective teams to the Finals. Dirk has been getting the attention for his 40-point performances, and deservedly so, but he didn't reach this final series without some help.

Don't forget the other key players on the Mavs like Shawn Marion, Jason Kidd, Tyson Chandler, J.J. Barea, just to name a few. They were the reason the Lakers were swept in the second round.

So what will these teams have to do to win?

If the Mavs hope to win, their bench will have to dominate and their defense will have to step up to contain the Big 3.  If the Heat wish to lift that gold trophy, they will have to obviously stop Dirk and win the rebound battle.

Here are some suggestions to the Heat and Mavericks, specifically Miami Heat Head Coach Erik Spoelstra and Dallas Mavericks Head Coach Rick Carlisle.

I strongly suggest that Erik Spoelstra carry out a "Hack-A-Haywood." Brendan Haywood is shooting a miserable 37% from the free-throw line. He will miss so many free-throws that Rick Carlisle will have to take him out of the game.

 

If Carlisle takes Haywood out early enough after his first attempts, then Chandler will have to play extra minutes. Chandler will be gassed and the Heat can attack the paint more easily. If he elects to put in Ian Mahinmi or Brian Cardinal (Who!?), then the Heat will have a field day in the lane.

I also say that LeBron guards Dirk in the fourth quarter. Look what he did to Derrick Rose. I know Dirk and Derrick are two totally different players, but LeBron has the build and strength to stop Dirk or at least force him into difficult shots.

Plus, bring back the David Hasselhoff faces. Remember when Dirk revealed he listened to this idiot's music and the Heat fans got these things to hold up when he shot free-throws?

Well, it OBVIOUSLY worked because Dirk missed a couple free throws at the end of the game in game 4 of the 2006 NBA Finals.  Bring the Hasselhoff faces back!

To Rick Carlisle, look for Shawn Marion on offense. Have the "Matrix" run around the floor and come off screens to the basket. Have Jason Kidd look for him on alley-oops to make LBJ work on defense and possibly pick up a couple of fouls.

I also want the Mavs to post up Jason Kidd and make pathetic Mike Bibby do something. Kidd is a pretty good post player for his position and can get the Mavs some easy baskets.

Finally, the Mavericks should shoot a three-pointer every time down the floor. I'm not kidding. This team can get on a roll and not be stopped, so don't hold back and let it fly.

Now, which team will become the NBA Champion this June? I hate both teams. Mark Cuban is annoying as... and the Mavs made me cry when they eliminated the Lakers. I hate LBJ for his arrogance and his dumb show "The Lebrons."

This show is so terrible I vomited. Check this out, or better yet, totally ignore it. It's better for everyone.

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheLeBrons

Anyway, I really don't care which team wins, because I hate both teams. But I predict a repeat of the 2006 NBA Finals, except the Heat win in Miami and raise that trophy in South Beach in game 6. 

I just hope that LeBron is not voted Finals MVP. I would have to kill someone...like Luke Walton. Just kidding, that's going way to far. NOT!

But seriously, if LBJ wins Finals MVP, Kobe Bryant and Mike Brown will be even more motivated to win a championship next year. But I still hope that D-Wade breaks out of his slump and averages 35 ppg in these Finals.

But whatever happens, expect to see the Heat passing around that Larry O'Brien trophy and spraying champagne in the locker room after this series. It pains me to say it, but the Heat will win the 2011 NBA Championship.

The only thing that could save this moment from total misery is if LBJ cries when the buzzer sounds. That would be classic! I know Michael Jordan cried, but that's MJ and he lost his dad. If LBJ sheds some tears, he will be the laughing stock of the world outside Miami.  

I know the people of Cleveland will definitely have something to say. 

The NBA Finals Schedule is below.

 

2011 NBA Finals Schedule

BEST OF SEVEN (2-3-2)

Date	Matchup	TV Network	Time
Tuesday, May 31	Mavs vs. Heat	ABC	9 ET
Thursday, June 2	Mavs vs. Heat	ABC	9 ET
Sunday, June 5	Heat vs. Mavs	ABC	8 ET
Tuesday, June 7	Heat vs. Mavs	ABC	9 ET
Thursday, June 9	Heat vs. Mavs*	ABC	9 ET
Sunday, June 12	Mavs vs. Heat*	ABC	8 ET
Tuesday, June 14	Mavs vs. Heat*	ABC	9 ET